User blog:Jetblackrlsh/Jazzy and The Last Uncrustable: Harry Potter Parody

Backstory

 * The Unpronouncables were two of the world's greatest wizards.
 * The Unpronouncables were secretly the guardians of the Last Uncrustable, an enchanted peanutbutter and jelly sandwhich which would grant whoever eats it unlimited magick power.
 * Only their closest friends knew of their secret mission.
 * After they had their son Jazzy they were killed by their closest friend who was after the Last Uncrustable.
 * Their friend tried to kill Jazzy and steal the Last Uncrustable, but the Last Uncrustable magickally teleported to Beverly's School of Wizard Shit and Jazzy was left an orphan with a bong shaped scar left on his forehead from the attack.

Ten Years Later
The End
 * Jazzy is accepted into Beverly's School of Wizard Shit.
 * When the magic train doesn't appear to pick him up he meets four other students who were also accepted to Beverly's School of Wizard Shit.
 * Finley, a girl obsessed with trains who believes that Beverly's School of Wizard Shit is a school for Magick the Gathering Training.
 * Strawberry, a girl obsessed with strawberries and pepsi-cola.
 * Raz, a boy who becomes Jazzy's best friend and has reverse velocity powers.
 * Jet, a guy who enjoys mixing potions who focuses more on the science of magick rather than the magick of magick.
 * Raz calls his Reverse Velociraptor and together they ride it together to the school. Finley becomes dissappointed that they missed the magick train.
 * Arriving at the school everyone is excited that the legendary Jazzy who survived an attack from "He who should not be named".
 * Jazzy was a baby at the time his parents were killed so he has no idea what the hell anyone is talking about.
 * In all his classes he is expected to be a great wizard but he just spends all day doing LSD.
 * Finley learns that she can enchant MTG cards and use them in real life.
 * Strawberry finds herself mixing strawberry extract and pepsi cola into all her potions and accidentally blowing up different parts of the school.
 * Raz keeps dissappearing for unexplained reasons whenever Strawberry blows something up.
 * Jet is constantly arguing with the teachers about science and wizard shit.
 * Several attacks happen at the school and everytime an attack happens Raz is always missing.
 * Jazzy and friends stop a lot of the attacks, they do so by using their magick..and by they I mean everybody except Jazzy who just does LSD the whole time.
 * After the final attack Jet tells everyone to split up and search the school, believing that these attacks are happening in order to steal the Last Uncrustable.
 * He comes to this conclusion after taking a potion to help understand the back story.
 * Everyone splits up but not to search the school.
 * Strawberry looks around for something to eat, Finley goes to hang out by the magick train, Raz is no where to be found, and Jazzy goes somewhere deep below the school to get high.
 * Deep below the school Jazzy runs into "He who should not be Named" in the secret lair of the Last Uncrustable.
 * "He who should not be Named" snaps his neck, and reveals that he was Raz the whole time. The only reason he didn't kill Jazzy when he was a baby is because Raz wanted to be his friend and stopped his alternate personality "Tyrone", from finishing the job.
 * Everytime Strawberry would accidentally blow something up Raz's neck would get snapped by a piece of debris and Tyrone would attempt to distract the school as he searched it for the lair of the Last Uncrustable.
 * Jazzy is completely disinterested in Tyrone's story.
 * Tyrone gets upset that Jazzy isn't paying attention and calls him a bitch nigga.
 * Jet's bitch nigga senses tingle and he finds the secret room, confused about what is going on he drinks another potion that allows him to understand the back story.
 * Jet shows up and is shocked to learn that Raz is Tyrone, he then vows to stop Tyrone from getting the Last Uncrustable and attempts to destroy it.
 * When Jet tries to destroy the Last Uncrustable him and Tyrone enter an epic battle which is interrupted by the chomping sounds of Strawberry eating the Last Uncrustable.
 * Strawberry is super happy because it was a strawberry uncrustable.
 * Tyrone gets super pissed and tries to kill everyone with his magick pistol -Blap Blap!
 * Before Tyrone can shoot everyone Finley crashes through the wall driving the Magick Train, the collision snaps Tyrone's neck and he turns back into Raz.
 * At the end of school Jazzy is given a reward for his brave fight against Tyrone, even though all he did was get high the whole time.
 * Strawberry after eating the Last Uncrustable becomes a Strawberry Goddess.
 * Finley learned how to poorly drive a magick train, but because its magickally indestructible she really didn't have to be that good of a driver in the first place.
 * Raz learned how to control his Tyrone transformations and use them for good.
 * Jet was promoted to become a part-time science teacher at Beverly's School of Wizard Shit.
 * After graduation the group of friends decide to become Wizard Warriors and travel together on the magick train to go slay a dragon.
 * Together they went on epic adventures and lived happily ever after.